The Masturbation Habit That Fixes ED

A lot of guys have masturbation habits that don’t help their erectile dysfunction, and in fact often cause their erectile dysfunction. But there’s a way that you can masturbate that can help you to get harder and firmer erections when you’re with partners, and help you keep those erections around for longer.

Hey, I’m Phoenix Blake, coach and educator, and I’ve personally suffered with erectile dysfunction, and so I know how difficult it can be.

Porn-induced erectile dysfunction, or erectile dysfunction when you’re with a partner that’s caused by your masturbation habits and your porn viewing habits, is becoming increasingly common. A lot of young guys are starting to suffer with erectile dysfunction even though there’s nothing wrong with their penis and the blood flow.

Porn is a super stimulus, and it stimulates us way above anything that we would experience in everyday life.

And often when we’re watching porn and masturbating, we’re so focused on the scene that we’re in, we’ve often got multiple tabs open looking at the best bits possible, we’re masturbating with a death grip trying to cum really quickly, and this is not serving us when we’re with partners. Because when we’re with partners, there’s a lot less visual stimulation, and often the touch to our penis is going to be a lot softer as well.

I like to think of masturbation as a training ground for the real thing when we’re with partners. And the way that most guys masturbate is not training them for success with partners, but it’s actually hindering them. ’Cause when you’re with a partner, you’re not going to get that intense visual stimulation, and it’s not going to be as hard as you are with yourself.

One option is to just give up porn and masturbation. This is known as a reboot, and it can help to rewire your mind for sensitivity with partners and help you to get and stay erect with partners.

But for those of you out there who feel it’s not feasible to give up masturbation, it’s not something that you want to do, or you just want to have the occasional self-pleasure, then this masturbation technique that I’m about to teach you is going to feel really good for you, but it’s also going to help you get and keep erections when you’re with your partners.

I call this mindful masturbation, and this is going to help you get more aware of the pleasure in your body, become more present in your body so you can be more present with your partner, and we can get away from that reliance on the intense visual stimulation.

Before I jump into the exact step by step of how to do mindful masturbation, I do want to say this is just one tool in your toolkit to help you overcome performance anxiety and erectile dysfunction.

There’s also lots of other things you can do, from different exercises or supplements you can take, or mindfulness practices, and I share these tips and techniques in my free ED toolkit. You can get access to this toolkit simply by going to passionately.com/ed. That toolkit is going to give you lots of ideas of different things you can do to overcome your erectile dysfunction and get stronger and harder erections than you’ve had in years.

How To Do Mindful Masturbation

When doing mindful masturbation, you’re going to be masturbating without porn and without fantasizing, so without thinking sexy thoughts in your head.

And this is really important because what we’re doing here is we’re getting away from the reliance on that intense visual stimulation, and we’re learning to tune into our body and the pleasure within our body in order to get an erection and even have an orgasm.

There’s two different pathways for you to get an erection. One is through mental arousal, which we get through that visual stimulation, all the thoughts and fantasies that we have. And the other is through physical stimulation and the touching of your genitals and your body.

Often we’re so fixated on the mental arousal that we fail to be able to tune into the physical arousal, and this is exactly what mindful masturbation is going to help you do. So no porn, no fantasizing in our head at all.

Begin by lying down on your bed, or sitting up if that’s how you prefer to masturbate. Ideally you want to have your pants off so you have free access to your genitals.

And begin to slow your breathing just for a couple of breaths, and begin to become aware of the different sensations in your body. Feel your back and your body pressed against the sheets or against the chair.

Begin to feel your penis and bring awareness to that. Maybe you want to clench and release your pelvic floor muscles so you can feel your penis begin to move a little bit. Really become aware of all the sensations in your body and just sink into the present moment.

And then when you’re ready, begin touching your genitals in whatever way feels good for you. As you do this, try to tune into the physical sensations of your hand on your penis and exactly what it feels like.

Remember, we’re not fantasizing here or thinking about something that might turn us on. We’re just experiencing the sensations of our hand touching ourselves.

I encourage you at this point as well to try different things and see what you like. Try different ways of maybe lightly touching yourself, or maybe you want to squeeze your penis between your fingertips, or maybe you want to grab it completely.

You might want to try with lubricant versus without lubricant, or you might even want to try toys on yourself to really tune into how these things are feeling.

Here there is no pressure to get an erection. We’re not trying to rush into getting an erection here. We’re just touching ourselves and enjoying what it feels like.

If you get an erection, that’s great, but if you don’t get an erection, that’s okay as well. You’re just starting to become more aware of how things feel.

In the beginning, this is going to be incredibly boring compared to what you usually do with porn. Touching yourself without porn, without fantasizing, it’s pretty boring in the beginning because you’re so used to being heavily stimulated.

But I encourage you to push through, because here we are rewiring our brains and we are strengthening that physical arousal pathway, where we can touch ourselves and get an erection just from the touch alone without needing to be visually stimulated.

If you do start to get an erection, then great. You can begin to amp up your speed, you can tighten your grip if you like, to fully bring on that erection, and you can masturbate and just enjoy how it feels, and you can even bring yourself to orgasm if you like.

But before you do that, there’s another exercise that I highly encourage you to do that’s going to help you get erections easier and maintain them easier and maintain them for longer.

The Pelvic Floor Exercise

Honestly, I think this exercise has had one of the biggest impacts on my erections, allowing me to get and maintain erections easier than ever before.

I learned this technique from the porn star Erik Everhard in his book Unleash Your Sexual Superpowers.

What you want to do is, once you’re fully erect, stop masturbating and take two fingers and place them down on your perineum, which is a spot between your balls and your bum.

Then clench your pelvic floor muscles as hard as you can, which are the same muscles that you use to raise up your penis when it’s erect, and you feel the perineum begin to bulge out into your fingers.

If you don’t know how to clench your pelvic floor muscles properly, then I do have a full article on that, so go ahead and check that out.

But you want to tighten those muscles, hold that for 10 seconds, then release for one to two seconds, then tighten it again for 10 seconds, and repeat this five or six times or until you lose your erection.

Your pelvic floor muscles are extremely important in delivering blood into your penis to give you an erection, but also holding the blood in your penis to maintain your erection. And most guys have really weak pelvic floor muscles.

By doing this exercise, we are tightening and strengthening our pelvic floor muscles, which is going to help us get erections.

This exercise works so well that a study showed that 75.5% of men who did pelvic floor exercises saw improvements in their erectile dysfunction, with a full 40% of men getting normal erectile function back. So this is not to be underestimated.

In the beginning, you’re unlikely to be able to hold that at full strength for 10 seconds even in your first attempt, let alone doing it five or six times without losing your erection.

In fact, you’ll probably find that in the second or the third clenching, you’re unable to hold it for 10 seconds, and you’ll probably lose your erection shortly after that. If you do, that’s completely fine. This is something that you’re going to build up over time.

If you lose your erection, begin masturbating again using mindful masturbation, focusing on the pleasure, not fantasizing, and then when you’re erect again, repeat the process of the pelvic floor exercises.

Ideally you want to do multiple sets of these exercises. I tend to aim for three to five sets, and I’ll do it multiple times per day, sometimes when I’m masturbating, sometimes when I’m not.

Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles isn’t going to happen overnight. This is something that you need to do regularly for months in order to see a benefit.

It’s like going to the gym. You don’t go to the gym in the morning and expect to be completely ripped in the evening. So this isn’t an exercise you can do in the morning when you’ve got sex that night and you want to be able to perform.

It’s something that you build up over time, like how you build up muscles at the gym, ’cause that’s exactly what we’re doing. We are stressing our pelvic floor muscles so that they grow back stronger.

However, I did personally notice improvements in as little as two weeks to one month, and then it continually got better from there.

This is one of the exercises that I share in my ED toolkit, where I teach you the different ways to overcome erectile dysfunction and get stronger and harder erections. Go to passionately.com/ed and get access to your free ED toolkit now.

Bonus Tip: Time Yourself

If you’ve read any of my other articles, you’ll know that I often like to save the best information for last to reward those of you who stick around through the article.

And one bonus tip that I have for you that’s going to really help with your performance anxiety is that when you’re doing this mindful masturbation, consider timing yourself every now and then.

Time yourself from starting when you’re completely flaccid until you are absolutely completely erect, with no porn, no fantasizing, just touching yourself. Time yourself and work out how long does it actually take you to go from flaccid to erect.

Now, however long it takes you, it’s likely going to take you at least that amount of time, probably longer, when you’re actually in bed with a real partner.

And this can really help, because often we’re in bed with a partner and we think, “Oh my gosh, I need to get it up straight away in order to give them pleasure and show them that I’m into them,” and then we stress out and we get anxious and that kills our erection.

However, if we’ve timed ourselves and we notice it takes us maybe three or four minutes in order to get fully erect, then we know when we’re with a partner, “Hey, it’s going to take at least three or four minutes, maybe a bit longer, in order to get erect, but that’s okay.” That’s normal for it to take that amount of time.

So we don’t have to stress after 30 seconds or a minute that we don’t have an erection yet, because we know that it’s going to take that amount of time, and we can just relax into it and let the erection come when it’s ready.

This can be a really great tool to stop you going down that anxious loop and stressing about not getting an erection, because you know exactly how long it’s likely to take you.

For more tips on how to overcome erectile dysfunction, check out this video that I’ve done recently on how I was able to stop using Viagra and still get absolutely incredible erections.