Beginners Guide To Eating Pussy Like A Pro

If you’ve never gone down on a woman before, it can be extremely overwhelming to be like, what exactly do I do when I’m eating her pussy? And in this article I want to give you the beginner’s guide to eating pussy so that you can go into it with confidence and at least get yourself started and know what you’re doing, so you’re not making some of the big mistakes that people make. You’re giving your partner a lot of pleasure even in the beginning, and then you can learn and grow from there.

Hey, I’m Phoenix Blake, sex coach and educator, and I remember even being a teenager and having a goal in my life to be amazing at eating pussy and amazing at giving women oral sex. And I don’t know why it was such a goal for me, but it always was.

And it wasn’t until I was in my 30s where I got a partner who absolutely loved receiving head as much as I loved giving head, and the amount of practice that I was able to accumulate, the amount of feedback I was able to get with this partner was incredible. And over time I’ve been able to practice with multiple partners, give women some amazing orgasms, and I’ve gotten the feedback multiple times that I’m the best they’ve ever had, or they’ve never orgasmed from oral sex but they were able to with me.

Now I’m not perfect at eating pussy, but I have learned a lot over the years, and there’s some things that I really wish I knew starting out, and there’s some things that you can benefit from if you’re going into this for the first time.

So this article is me creating it for my younger self: the basics that I wish I knew when I was going to eat pussy for the first time, so that I know, yes, I’m going to make her feel good. I don’t have to worry about doing something stupid and wrong that she’s not telling me about, but she’s actually not enjoying.

Porn Is Not A Good Educator

In fact, I’m now at the point where I’ll watch porn and if he goes down on her and he’s not doing a good job, I can’t enjoy the porn, because I know what he’s doing is wrong and doesn’t feel good for her and she’s just acting. So it takes me out of the experience.

But needless to say, porn is made for your enjoyment, not for the actor’s pleasure. So a lot of the oral sex that you see in porn is there because it looks good.

The people have to be on weird angles so the camera can get in there, because most of the time if you’re doing a good job giving oral sex, a camera won’t be able to see anything that you’re doing. So eating pussy in real life is going to be very different to what you see in porn.

Be Excited About It Yourself

Get turned on about it yourself. You know the experience: if someone’s going down on you, they’re sucking your dick, or if they’re licking your vulva if you’ve got one, if they’re really into it, it’s such a better experience, even if their technique isn’t the best in the world.

I would much rather get a blowjob from a girl who absolutely loves giving me a blowjob, gets off on giving me a blowjob and just can’t wait to have me down her throat, versus a girl who has some of the best technique but it’s clear that she doesn’t actually want to be doing it.

So if you want to give your partner an amazing experience (and that’s what we’re doing, we’re giving them an overall amazing experience), it’s not just about the techniques that we use with our mouth on the vulva. Yes, that’s really important, but it’s about the overall experience that they have from us going down on them that’s going to make them feel like, oh my god, that was really amazing, or if you’re lucky enough, oh my god, that was the best oral sex I’ve ever had.

Now you can generally tell when someone’s excited about it, but you can also amp it up to an appropriate level if you want by letting them know how excited you are to lick their pussy. Let them know how good they smell or how good they taste. You can moan while you’re down there.

You can move your body and arch your back. You can even touch yourself while you’re down there to let them know that you’re having a good time.

See, an issue that happens with a lot of women when you’re going down on them is they’re going to get very insecure about how they look, about how they smell and how they taste. They can really get in their head about this.

So throughout the process of eating her pussy, reassure her that you’re really enjoying it by either using your words, using your moans, moving your body, or even when you’re fingering her, pulling your finger out, licking your finger and showing her how much you enjoy it.

There’s No Rush

Women can also get up in their head about how long it might take them to get off, and often guys will go down on them for a token amount of time, just a couple of minutes, so that they’ll give them a blowjob. And most women can’t orgasm in this amount of time, but the guy’s expecting her to orgasm.

So instead of this, let her know that there is no rush to this. You can say it to her: “There’s no rush, take your time, I’m just going to enjoy you.” Or you can also say it with the techniques that you use and the way that you eat her pussy, which we’re going to talk about when we look at specific techniques.

But it’s really important that she doesn’t feel like there’s time pressure, and it’s also important that she doesn’t feel like there’s pressure to orgasm. Especially if you’re going in and you’ve never eaten pussy before, the chance of you bringing her to an orgasm is pretty low in the beginning.

Over time you’ll get to know her vulva and her body and what she likes, and you’ll be more likely to be able to bring her to orgasm or to bring new partners to orgasm once you’ve got more skill. But in the beginning you’re probably not going to bring them to orgasm.

But even if you are at a high skill level and you can bring lots of girls to orgasm, or you know how to bring your partner to orgasm, you want to remove the pressure of orgasm wherever possible.

You’re just down there because it turns you on, you love it so much, and you’re down there to give them a lot of pleasure, to give them a good time. There’s no rush, there’s no need to orgasm, because if she doesn’t orgasm, that’s fine.

I can go down on her and then we can lead into fingering, we can lead into sex, we can lead into her pleasuring me. It doesn’t have to end in an orgasm. And interestingly, by taking that pressure off the orgasm, she’s way more likely to orgasm.

Learn The Anatomy Of The Vulva

Now it can be really helpful to learn the anatomy of the vulva as well. The main sections that we have are the outer lips of the vulva, which will be a similar color to her skin. It’ll be a little bit puffy, like there’s a little bit of fat underneath them.

We then go into the inner lips, or the labia minora. These inner lips tend to be a different color, a more pinkish color, and in porn they’re often really small.

But depending on the woman, they can be bigger, they can be longer, they can be really small, or one side might be bigger than the other side. All of that is completely normal.

What you see in porn is generally not what a vulva looks like, and women can get very concerned that their vulva doesn’t look like what they see in porn. So again, while you’re down there, appreciate their vulva for exactly what it is and compliment them on the things that you really like about their vulva.

Maybe you like that they have bigger inner lips, and you can let them know that they can actually be really fun to suck on. Again, we’re creating this overall experience.

After the inner lips, if we go all the way down, this is where we’re going to have the vaginal opening. So this is where your finger will go in or where your penis will go in. And if you don’t know how to finger a pussy, then go ahead and read this article on exactly how to do it.

As we come up from the vaginal opening, we’ll have the urethra, or the wee hole, and then we’ll come up and we’ll have the clitoris and the clitoral shaft, which is often covered by a flap of skin called the clitoral hood. This is not too dissimilar from the foreskin on a male penis, and it’ll usually cover the clitoris.

The most sensitive part is going to be the clitoral head that is under the clitoral hood, and some people really like this being touched directly, but for some people it’s too intense and you want to touch and lick them over the clitoral hood.

If you want to see more details about the vulva pleasure anatomy and how to pleasure each and every section and how you can actually give your partner orgasms through oral sex and eating pussy, then go to passionately.com/oral and you can get free access to a video where I go through that stuff in more detail and I teach you exactly how to give her orgasms through oral sex.

I also share regular tips through my email over there, and some of the stuff I don’t actually share on YouTube and some of the best advice that I give. So get access to that video and sign up for the newsletter over there.

Tease Your Partner First

Okay, so now that we understand the basic vulva anatomy, before we jump into the techniques of how to lick the vulva, which we’re about to get to, it’s really important that you actually tease your partner first and get them fully aroused, because the more aroused they are, the better it’s going to feel for them when you’re down there.

So spend time connecting with them. Foreplay can actually start in the beginning of the day, or even days before leading up to your date. It can happen on the day where you begin to build that sexual tension.

And in the moment you can build up the arousal with things like kissing and touching, caressing their body, kissing their ear or their neck if they like that, slowly working your way down, paying attention to their breasts, kissing and sucking their breasts in the way that they like, working your way down slowly, building up that anticipation.

Anticipation is one of your biggest tools and assets. As you begin to work your way down, it looks like you’re going to go straight for the vulva, and despite your excitement, you want to avoid doing this in most cases, unless she’s really, really gagging for it.

But what you can do is actually begin to kiss the inside of her thighs, and you can work your way out towards the knees and then back in like you’re about to kiss their vulva. And then I like to brush over it or maybe blow a little bit as I go over it, and then kiss up their thigh again.

If they’re fully aroused, they’ll start to squirm and they’ll start to move and they’ll start to push their hips into you, telling you that yes, I really want you to lick me now. It’s really great when this happens, because then when you do lick her, it’s going to feel so good for her.

Use A Flat Tongue

Now when it comes time to actually lick her, you don’t want to go straight for the clitoris, because this is the most sensitive part. You tend to want to build up to this as a beginner. And also you don’t want to go in with a pointed, sharp tongue.

What you see in porn is a lot of people pointing their tongue and making it really hard and sharp at the end, and they’ll flick this across the clit. While this can be good right before orgasm, you generally don’t want to start with this as a beginner.

The best tongue technique that I can teach you, and one that I wish someone just told me when I was younger, is use a flat tongue. The simplest techniques are sometimes the best, and using a flat tongue, starting at the bottom and working our way up, is going to feel good for almost everyone. I can’t actually think of someone where they didn’t like this and it didn’t feel good.

In the beginning, when you’re starting, it can be really good to use that flat tongue on the outer lip. So if you trace up the outer lips on one side, trace up the outer lips on the other side, and then, starting at the vaginal opening, trace up your flat tongue inside the inner lips.

So if you’ve got those inner lips, you want your tongue to be on the inside of those, so the lips are either side of your tongue. And then you’re licking up between those lips up to the clitoris, licking over the clitoris, over the hood and the shaft of the clitoris, and then you come out, you go back down and you repeat the same process.

This is the most basic pussy licking technique that’s going to feel good for almost anyone. So if you’re licking pussy for the first time, I definitely advise you to start with the flat tongue.

Another benefit of starting with the flat tongue is the fact that it gives you time to explore her vulva and feel what the different parts feel like. So when you’re going up the outer lips, you can feel them, and then when you’re going up the inside and the inner lips, you can really start to feel between the inner lips, and you can start to brush your tongue up over where the clitoris is.

And this can allow you to start to feel out where the clitoris is. You’ll likely feel a little bump there. The clitoris can be smaller and more hidden, or it can be larger and more protruding. It depends on the person.

And also, while you’re doing this, you can begin to gauge their responses and see what they like. Is there a certain part where they feel really sensitive? Sometimes it can be down near the vaginal opening, though this is less common.

It’s generally as you get further up and as you get closer to the clitoris that you’ll notice that they really start responding and it feels really good. But everyone is different, and what they like is different.

One thing that you really don’t want to be doing is being down there and just flicking your tongue all over the place, backwards and forwards and downwards, in no particular spot and with no particular focus or methodology towards this.

It’s like, you can imagine if someone’s down licking your penis and they’re just licking all over the shaft but not actually sucking it. It’s not going to feel good if they’re just licking all over the place.

Generally you want to have some sort of rhythm to it. And in the beginning, rather than playing with speed and trying to ramp this up really quickly, you can actually play around with pressure.

So you can do the flat tongue with really light pressure to tickle them and tease them, you can do a regular amount of pressure, which can feel really good, or you can also try hard pressure and see how they respond to that, because some women do like really hard pressure on their clit.

Now when your tongue is coming up and you’re doing the flat tongue, you actually want to be touching the clit and licking the clit with the middle part of your tongue. So not the tip of your tongue, but the middle part of your tongue.

So if you start with the middle part of your tongue, naturally it’ll brush over the clit and it’ll brush over the tip of your tongue, and you flick it as you kind of leave the clit. You then move away, come back down and repeat the process.

Shift Your Focus To Her Clitoris

Now as she gets more aroused and turned on, you can begin to shift more of your focus to her clitoris. In the beginning, when you’re licking the clitoris, you want to start with a really light pressure and you don’t want to overdo it. You also don’t want to start going really fast on the clit straight away. You can build up to that.

But what you can actually do as a beginner is to just place your tongue on the clit and don’t really move it at all. You might just kind of move it tiny amounts as it’s sitting there on the clit. You might do tiny little slow circles with your tongue, and you can begin to gauge her response and what she likes over time.

While you’re here, rather than amping up the speed, you can actually begin to apply a little bit more pressure with your tongue and do the same process.

Now if the clitoris is hidden under the hood and you’re finding it hard to lick the clitoris directly, what you can do is, if you place the flat of your hand on top of her pubic bone, just below her stomach, just above her vulva, you can actually place your hand there and push it back just a little bit towards her stomach. And that’s actually going to begin to pull back the hood of the clitoris so you can get access to it.

You don’t want to pull too much, because that’s really going to stretch the skin and hurt it. You just want to lightly pull it to begin to reveal the clitoris, and that’s going to allow you to stimulate it directly.

Suck The Clitoris

Now another thing that you can try directly on the clitoris is actually sucking the clitoris and bringing it into your mouth, which can feel really good. You don’t want to start by sucking really hard in the beginning. You want to start with really light sucking and see what they like. And then, as you’re sucking with your mouth, you can also flick your tongue over the clitoris as well.

So you bring the clitoris into your mouth a little bit. Again, don’t suck too hard or it can hurt them. And then what’s going to happen is it’ll kind of pop out of the hood as well, and you’ll be able to stimulate it directly with your tongue.

You can go upwards and downwards on the clitoris while you’ve got it in your mouth, or you can go side to side as well. I generally find up and down works best, but you need to gauge your partner and see what they like.

Generally, for me to bring a partner to orgasm, I work my way up through the flat tongue, I start playing with the clitoris as I talked about, and then I will suck the clitoris into my mouth and play with it with my tongue. And over time I might amp up the pressure, or I may begin to amp up the speed if I feel like they’re really aroused and they’re really enjoying it.

Use A Finger At The Same Time

It can also be really good to use a finger to pleasure your partner at the same time that you’re going down on them. I tend to save the finger for towards the end to kind of amp up the pressure even more, but you can also use it in the beginning.

Generally what I’ll do is I’ll take just one finger and I’ve got my finger pointing upwards towards her clitoris, and I will enter inside her, and I’m going to do the come here motion on the roof of her vagina, which is going to stimulate the G-spot.

By dropping your wrist down, you can get more upwards pressure with your finger, and so you can apply harder pressure to the G-spot as she gets more aroused.

But in the beginning, if you’re just warming her up, then light pressure on the roof of her vagina using the come here motion is going to feel really good for most women. And then as she gets more aroused, you can amp up the pressure to that spot and you can also amp up the speed.

Take Her Through Different Waves Of Pleasure

As I’m doing all of this, I’m not necessarily taking her from ground zero all the way up to orgasm in one straight line. The way that I like to think about it is taking her through different waves of pleasure.

So I might bring her up to a certain point and then I’ll drop back down and do something different, and then I’ll bring her up a little bit higher and drop back down. And then eventually she gets so aroused, I can tell that she’s close to orgasm, that I’ll bring her up and then I’ll bring her to orgasm.

Now generally you don’t want to do exactly the same thing all throughout these waves of pleasure. However, when your partner is getting really aroused and you feel like they’re getting close to orgasm and they really like something that you’re doing, generally that’s the time to stay with that thing and stay with that rhythm.

So maybe they like it when you’re sucking the clit and you’re going up and down on their clit, and you can feel that their body’s getting really aroused and closer to orgasm. Maybe that’s the time to slide the finger in and begin stimulating the G-spot, but keeping that rhythm and keeping that technique with them as long as you can.

For most women, this is generally how they’re going to get to orgasm, with that same consistent rhythm and that same consistent technique. However, you don’t want to do it from beginning until end. It’s really just as you’re very close to the end and orgasm: they really like something that you’re doing, okay, stick with that thing for as long as you can to bring them up to orgasm.

And if you’re sticking with that thing and you’re feeling like, oh, maybe they’re not going to orgasm, that’s completely fine. Don’t just keep going with it, because then it can get oversensitive and begin to hurt.

But you can actually bring them back down, do something else with your tongue, maybe go back to the flat tongue, and then you can potentially work them back up again a little bit later, or you could shift to something different like intercourse.

If you want to see detailed instructions on what I personally find is the best technique to consistently bring women to orgasm using your fingers and your mouth, then get access to my free video where I show you exactly how to do that. Sign up over there. You’ll get access to that video as well as my newsletter, where I share some of the best sex techniques and how you can give your partner some of the best orgasms of their life.

Stay Curious About Your Partner

Now, throughout this whole experience, stay extremely curious about your partner. Every single vulva owner is different, and the things that they like are going to be different as well.

So when you’re down there, yes, focus on what you’re doing with your tongue and your techniques, but also focus on your partner and the way that they’re responding to things and what they like.

Stay Connected With Your Partner

Also remember to stay connected with your partner as well. Sometimes we can get so fixated and in our head that we forget that there’s actually someone on the receiving end.

Some women like it when you look them in the eyes when you’re going down on them, some women don’t like it. If they like it, generally they’ll make eye contact with you. If they don’t like it when you’re looking at them and they see you looking at them, they’ll look away really quickly and you realize, okay, maybe they don’t like eye contact that much.

But what you can also do as well is use your hands to caress her legs, touch her entire body, her stomach, her breast. You can also hold on to her hands while you’re down there and connecting that way. You can get her to grab your head and touch your hair.

There’s lots of different ways that you can connect while you’re down there to make it a more connected experience.

Ask Your Partner For Feedback

And remember, you’re not going to be a pussy eating god if you’ve never done it before. So go down there with a willingness to learn, to practice, to get better over time. And you can also ask your partner for feedback of things they liked.

Maybe after the session you can talk to them and say, “Hey, I really want to get better at giving you oral sex and eating you out. What sort of things do you like?” Or if they don’t really know and they can’t really tell you, you can say, “Oh well, next time we do it, let me know if there’s something that you really like.”

Or when you’re down there, if you’ve had this communication beforehand, you can do something, you can say, “What does that feel like?” or “Do you want it harder or softer, faster or slower?” There’s lots of different ways that you can get feedback from your partner so that you can get better.

Go out there and enjoy eating pussy, and also check out this video on exactly how to find the clitoris so you know exactly what you’re looking for and you know the most important spot to pleasure and how to pleasure it. Or get access to my free video on how to give her some of the best oral orgasms of her life.