Exactly How To Find The Clitoris (Detailed Tutorial)

Learning how to accurately find the clitoris so that you can pleasure it is one of the most important things that you can learn if you want to be able to give your partner pleasure and if you want to be able to bring them to orgasm.

The clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman’s body. In fact, it has more nerve endings in the one little spot than a man does on his entire penis.

But how exactly do you find the clitoris? Well, that’s what I’m going to show you in today’s article.

Hey, I’m Phoenix Blake, sex coach and educator, and I’m here to help you become the best lover that you can be.

I remember talking to a mate of mine about finding the clitoris and I asked him, “Do you know where the clitoris is?” And he said, “You know, I’m pretty sure I know where it is.” And I was like, “Man, pretty sure is not good enough.”

While ideally you’ll be finding the clitoris with your hands or with your mouth, it’s also important to know how to find it visually so that you can locate it more easily.

Finding The Clitoris Visually

Interestingly, what we think about as the clitoris is actually just the head of the clitoris.

So the clitoris has this wishbone shape and the head sticks out and is the most sensitive part as well as the shaft. The rest of the clitoris then goes into her body with these bulbs of the vestibule being around her outer lips and in the walls of her vagina.

So if we imagine that my hand is the outer lips of her vulva, then inside she’ll have her inner lips or her labia.

Now generally in porn, these lips are quite small, but with every woman, they vary in size, shape and length. So they could be longer or shorter.

Down the bottom is where you’ll have the vaginal opening. So this is where you would slide your fingers in or where your penis would go during intercourse.

And then up the top, we have the head of the clitoris as well as the clitoral shaft, which is usually hidden by a hood or a flap of skin, not too dissimilar from a foreskin.

And if we turn it around, inside the vagina, we’ve got the rest of the clitoris.

So when you actually penetrate her, you can stimulate it there, but definitely the most sensitive part is the head of the clitoris and the shaft.

Now when you’re pleasuring your partner and trying to find the clitoris, there are two main ways to find it.

1. The Easiest Way: From The Bottom Up

If you put your finger down to her vaginal opening so that your finger is between the inner lips of her vulva, what you can do is then begin to slide your finger up.

And what’s going to happen is those inner lips are actually going to come together. And just above where they come together is where you’re going to find the head of the clitoris.

Now, as we mentioned, the clitoris is almost always covered by a hood, kind of like a foreskin. And what will happen is when your partner gets aroused, this clitoris will actually expand and grow, making it easier to find, much like how a penis grows in size when it’s erect.

Now, if we’re finding the clitoris with our hand, we put our finger down between the inner lips and we slide the finger up slowly and where those inner lips meet just above it, if we hook our finger a bit, then we can stimulate the head of the clitoris.

Now, it’s very important that you don’t go in there and go really hard straight away, because especially in the beginning, the clitoris is very sensitive. We want to use a very light touch when we’re touching it.

So as we pull our finger up and stimulate the clitoris, we can just hold our finger there with very light pressure. And to begin to stimulate it, we can do very small and slow circles with our finger, or we can apply slightly more pressure and then release it and then move back around.

Now, when you’re doing this, you want to make sure that your fingers are wet so you can get her wetness to make your fingers lubricated or go ahead and lick your fingers because the clitoris does not like being touched dry.

If you really want to give her clitoral orgasms and make her feel really good, then I’ve got a free tutorial showing you a technique that I love to use to give women some of the best orgasms of their life.

Go to passionately.com/oral and sign up for the newsletter over there and you’ll get instant access to that video. In that video, I’ll show you step by step exactly what to do.

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Now the clitoris can vary in size from woman to woman, with some women having a more protruding clitoris like the one shown here, whereas other women have a very small one that is extremely hidden.

So sometimes you can slide up and it can be pretty hard to feel in the beginning and it might only be when she’s fully aroused that it starts to protrude a bit more and you can feel it.

If you are really struggling to find it, then ask your partner what feels good for her and when you find the right spot to let you know.

Most women are pretty happy to give some feedback, but what you don’t want to be doing is just poking around everywhere, not knowing where anything is and saying, “Does that feel good?”

If you’re in the general area, it should only take small movements to be able to find it.

And sometimes the clitoris is so hidden under the hood that it can be difficult to find.

So what you can do is get the palm of your hand and on her pubic bone just above her vulva, if you press down lightly and then you push up a little bit towards her stomach, what that’s going to do is actually begin to pull the skin back and that can help to reveal the clitoris so you can find it more easily.

So that’s going to require you to use two hands, one to push on the pubic bone and pull up the skin and then the other finger in order to touch the clitoris.

2. From The Top Down

If we’re coming from her stomach and down to her pubic bone and then sliding down, what will happen is our fingers will slide over the shaft of the clitoris and the head of the clitoris.

But remember the hood will be hiding it. So we’ll be sliding down over the hood and again, make sure your fingers are wet when you’re doing this because the clitoris does not like being touched dry.

And what you can do is you can slide down with one finger, two fingers or three fingers, whichever feels better for you and for her.

So sliding down with one finger, if you’re fairly confident where it is, will allow you to stimulate the shaft of the clitoris and move over the clitoral head. And then what you can do, like we did from the bottom, is hook your finger and access the head of the clitoris from underneath.

You can also use two fingers to kind of go either side of the shaft of the clitoris in order to find it more easily, maybe with your middle finger, or you can go down with three fingers and so the two fingers on the side kind of pull the shaft and the clitoris into place. And so that way you can more easily access it with your middle finger and pleasure it with your middle finger.

It is going to take practice. So if you don’t find it straight away, don’t be alarmed, don’t feel bad.

What can happen as well is that the clitoris tends to move backwards and forwards. So if you’re down there with just one finger, then it can actually move across to the side and you can miss the spot, or it can flip over to the other side and miss the spot.

This is why communicating with your partner is really important to find out what feels good for them and pay attention to their reactions, pay attention to their breathing and their body movements.

And if you see them kind of twinge or move in a sharp way, chances are you’re doing something that’s hurting them and not feeling good. So if that happens, communicate with them, say, “Did that hurt?” and then get their help to direct you to what feels good.

Finding The Clitoris With Your Tongue

Now the fingers are great, but one of the best ways to find the clitoris and give her some of the best pleasure is using your tongue and using your mouth.

The easiest way to find the clitoris with your tongue is to do something very similar to what we did with our finger, which is we get between those two inner lips, we draw our tongue up and then we hook underneath the clitoris.

The difference here is that we can spread our tongue out or we can make it short and sharp.

Now in porn, you’ll almost always see the guy with a really sharp tongue going back and forth on the clitoris. And while, yes, this can feel good when she’s very close to orgasm, if you’re doing this in the beginning, chances are she’s not going to like it.

So what I will do with my tongue is I’ll actually make my tongue very flat. And I’ll start at about her vaginal opening and make sure the lips are kind of either side of my tongue.

I’ll slide my tongue up and then as I get closer to her clitoris, I won’t begin touching it with the tip of my tongue, but actually the middle of my tongue. And then I can slide my tongue up and over, and then I can go ahead and repeat.

So I’m actually touching the clitoris with the middle of my tongue.

So using this technique, you should be able to find the clitoris with your tongue and I’m almost teasing her with the fact that I’m coming up and touching the clitoris for a little bit.

And then I’m going back down, or you can come up and you can actually skirt around it to really get her craving you and wanting you so that when you do finally come up and touch it, it feels really good for her.

Now, once you’ve found the clitoris, you’re going to want to pleasure it in the right way if you want to give her clitoral orgasms. So go ahead and check out this video on exactly how to pleasure the clitoris.