How To Do Missionary Sex WAY Better (& Make Her Cum)

Whether you’re brand new to sex or you’re incredibly experienced and know how to give your partner mind-blowing orgasms, missionary position is highly likely to be the number one position that you’ll find yourself in most of the time.

However, most people aren’t doing a great job of making missionary position feel really good, both for themselves and for their partner.

So in this article, I’m going to share with you my best tips to up your missionary position game, to take it from one of the most boring and vanilla positions to one of the best and most diverse positions you can be in with your partner and also a position where she can orgasm over and over again and you can give her incredible pleasure.

Hey, I’m Phoenix Blake, sex coach and educator, and while I often find myself in quite weird positions and contort my body in interesting and different ways, missionary is still the number one go-to for me with most of my partners and we absolutely love it and it tends to be one of the positions where my partner is most likely to orgasm.

So how do you actually make missionary position better?

1. Arouse Your Partner First

One of the big mistakes that guys make is that they don’t get their partner fully aroused and ready to receive them before they go inside them. If she’s not aroused, it’s not going to feel as good.

So make sure you spend a good amount of time kissing her, touching her, giving her amazing oral sex, and I’ve got loads of videos on my YouTube channel that teach you exactly how to do that.

But if you want to learn how to really turn your partner on and get them aroused, then I’ve got a free advanced oral orgasm tutorial where I show you the most consistent way that I found to turn women on and give them incredible mind-blowing orgasms.

Go to passionately.com/oral to get access to that tutorial. That will also sign you up for my free newsletter where I share loads of tips on how you can be a better lover, and many of those tips I don’t share on YouTube.

2. Paint The Fence

So remember in the Karate Kid where Mr. Miyagi is teaching him to paint the fence up and down? That’s the sort of motion that we want to do with our penis on our partner’s vulva.

So what you can do is take the head of your penis, place it against your partner’s vulva and move your penis up and down without actually going inside your partner, but rubbing down to their vaginal opening and then up over their clitoris and back again.

To make this feel even better, get some spit and place it on the head of your penis or use some lubricant, because the clitoris doesn’t like being touched dry.

The great thing about this is it feels really good for both of you. It begins to arouse her more. It can help you to get an erection as well, and it’s also a great way to tease her so that when you do move to intercourse it feels really good for her to receive you and you’re not doing it too quickly.

3. Enter Her Slowly

So rather than just doing a big thrust in or starting really fast straight away, take your time with your partner and begin to enter her very slowly.

You can start slow around the entrance to her vagina and you can push your penis about half the way in, or even just get the head of your penis in, and then just let it sit there and let your partner relax into that and feel you inside her.

Because sometimes if you push in too hard too fast you can hurt your partner and it doesn’t feel very good, but by taking your time, allowing them to stretch and relax, you can go inside them and it gets them in a nice relaxed headspace so they can fully receive you, and everything else that you’re about to learn is going to feel really good.

4. Mix Up Your Thrusting Technique

So rather than just hard thrusting and that’s all that you do, there’s lots of different ways that you can thrust your partner. Go ahead and check out this video for my best thrusting techniques and tips.

There are some great thrusting techniques that you can do to make missionary better.

Firstly, there’s shallow thrusting. So rather than just thrusting her hard, begin shallow. Don’t put all of your penis all the way in, but rather just get the head of your penis in or maybe part of your shaft in, and then do shallow thrusts in this area, generally going quite slow in the beginning.

There’s a lot of nerve endings around the vaginal opening, so by doing shallow thrusts it’s really stimulating that, and also the G-spot is only about one to two inches in, and so shallow thrusts can actually begin to stimulate the G-spot as well.

You can also do what I like to call the full in out thrust. So this is where you will thrust all the way inside her, not in like a really hard sort of vigorous way, but in an intimate and passionate way.

You can thrust inside her and then pull out all the way so that her vaginal opening closes and your penis is just outside her vaginal opening, and then you can slide in again and pull out and slide in.

And so this coming all the way out of the vagina and going back in and causing the opening of her vagina to open and close can feel really good for many women, especially in the beginning, but all of these techniques you can mix in throughout, so you can go from hard thrusting to shallow thrusting to this slower in and out.

Missionary position doesn’t have to always build from slow up to fast. You can go slow, build it up and then bring it back down and take her through those waves of pleasure that I always talk about so much.

You can also do very intimate thrusts with your partner by mostly being deep inside her but coming out a bit and just having this passionate rhythm to your thrusting.

You can do hard fucking from the missionary position as well, and you can also do those really deep thrusts to really get inside her and make her feel really full.

5. Grind Up And Down Against Her

While different thrusting techniques are really important in the missionary position to make it good, the in out is actually going to feel better for a penis than it does for a vulva, and so what can be even better than in out is grinding, grinding, grinding, grinding.

This is something that is so important for women in missionary position that many guys just don’t pay much attention to.

So rather than just focusing on the in out thrusting, which is going to help us feel better and can actually lead you to ejaculate more quickly, what you want to do is actually go inside her and begin to grind up and down against her.

The goal here is to actually push her clitoris up against your pubic bone.

Picture it like this: your pubic bone sits just above your penis, so when you’re inside her, her clitoris presses right up against it.

What we’re going to do is we’re going to go inside her, but our pubic bone is going to press up against her clitoris, and then what we’re going to do is rock our body backwards and forwards so that the clitoris rubs against our pubic bone.

If your penis is inside her and you’re rocking backwards and forwards, your penis is kind of going up and down as you rub against her.

This is going to feel better for her than it does for you, but not every position or everything that you do needs to feel just as good for you as it does for her, and in fact many women are not going to cum from this in out thrusting but they’re going to cum from this grinding.

So if you only learn one tip to up your missionary game: grinding, grinding, grinding.

And one of the things that I love to do with my partners is that we’ll do different positions in missionary, which I’ll talk about in a second, but I will build her up with the thrusting and then, as I feel like she’s reaching that level of intensity where she’s getting closer to orgasm, I will then switch to the grinding and this can push her over the edge into orgasm.

6. Put A Pillow Underneath Her Bum

So get her to raise her pelvis up, put the pillow underneath and then she can lie down on that.

What this is going to do is it’s going to actually tilt her pelvis up, which means when your penis goes inside her you can get deeper inside her and you’re also more likely to be pleasuring the G-spot, which is located in the roof of her vagina.

So if she’s just lying on the bed then her pelvis is going to be flat and the vaginal opening will be flat, or it actually might be tilted a little bit down because her bum kind of sinks into the bed.

However, when you put her on a pillow and it lifts her up, just that little adjustment can make things feel so much better for her, and it can also help in that grinding as well and allow you to get your pubic bone against her clitoris and grind against her.

7. Get On Your Knees

So rather than you lying down on top of her, actually go ahead and sit back on your knees so that your penis is more pointing upwards, and this can allow you to really direct the position of your penis to point it more into her G-spot.

You can also adjust the level of her pelvis by getting her legs over your shoulders or by pushing her legs up, and this can allow you to go in and to hit the roof of her vagina, stimulating her G-spot.

8. Push Down On The Bottom Of Her Stomach

Now I will say this is a more dangerous thing to do, as you can actually hurt her if you apply too much pressure.

However, I have found that with some partners that I’ve been with that if I do this and push down on their stomach just a little bit, it can allow my penis to push up against the roof of their vagina more and it feels really good for them.

9. Put Your Arm Underneath Her Neck

One of the best things about the missionary position is how intimate it makes you with your partner. You can both see each other, you can be really close to each other while you’re having sex, and something that can be really good to increase this intimacy but also increase your level of control when you’re having sex in missionary position is to actually get your arm and put it underneath her neck.

This is going to allow you to support your body with the arm. It’s going to feel very intimate because you’re holding your partner, but also it’s going to allow you to push with your forearm against your partner’s shoulder to pull them into you as you thrust.

So rather than them just being stationary as you thrust into them, you can actually have more control of your partner and pull them into you in order to get deeper and create more of that grinding that we talked about.

10. Don’t Forget To Touch Your Partner

There’s so many different ways that you can do that.

You can kiss your partner in missionary position, you can kiss their neck, you can even move down and play with their breasts with your mouth, you can touch their hair.

Also, if you lean back, you have full access to their body to be able to touch them on their breasts, on their stomach, holding their waist, or you can even push down onto their shoulders so they can feel a little bit more constricted, which for some women they really like, and this also gives you control to pull them into you.

But make sure you take your time to touch your partner in ways that she really enjoys and also let her touch you as well.

This is a really great position where she can play with your back, or if you’re back on your knees then she can touch the entirety of your body, which can feel really good, or she can hold your waist or she can hold onto your arms, which many women love in this position.

Don’t just think about sex as the penis and the vagina, but think about the entire experience that you’re giving your partner while you’re in missionary position, and the more things that are going on, the more exciting it can be.

11. Mix Up The Position Of Her Legs

There’s so many different ways that her legs can go and each way it’s going to feel really different for her and also feel different for you.

So you’ve got the basic where her legs are spread apart and to the side. This is probably going to be what you start with and going to be the most common position that you’re in, and there’s nothing wrong with this, it can feel really great and you should definitely use it.

You can also really spread her legs apart, which can be really sexy for you visually but also feel really good for her.

You can spread her legs apart with her knees bent and you can hold onto her knees, or you can put your hands on her thighs in order to keep it spread, or she can do the flying V where her legs are out fully straight and you can hold onto her ankles or hold onto her feet in order to keep her spread apart.

You can also put her legs over your shoulders, which can help to raise her pelvis up, and how far you lean forward is going to affect the tilt of her pelvis, so you can get her more tilted or less tilted based on how far back you are or how far forward you are.

You can also do the same thing but pushing on her legs to lift her up, so you can hold her ankles and push her up that way, keeping her legs mostly straight as she goes back, or if she wants her legs bent you can put your hands on the back of her thighs right near the crease of her knees and you can push her back that way.

Alternatively, you can get her to put her feet on your chest, which can feel really good, and that gives her more control over how tilted she wants her pelvis to be, and it also allows her to push off you, so as you thrust into her she’s got control and movement as well.

You can have her legs pointing straight up, so rather than them kind of going over your shoulders they’re pointing straight up, and you can have these either side of your head or you can have them on one side as well, and this can actually be really good to hold on to her legs, or if they’re either side you hold on to them, and it can allow you to thrust into her whilst holding on to her.

She can also cross her legs as well and put them over you, and this can create some constriction down at the bottom near her vagina, which can feel really good on your penis and can tighten things for her as well.

She can also do one leg bent and place it on your chest or somewhere on your body and have the other leg straight. Many women really enjoy this because it allows them to adjust the tilt of their pelvis in a way that feels really good for them, so they don’t need to have both feet on your chest or both above you, you can just have one and then they can make adjustments that feel really good for them.

And then for those women who are a bit more agile or flexible, you can actually push their legs all the way over their own head and then you can be over her, thrusting her from that position.

Or you can do what I call the pretzel, which is where you actually bend her legs and push them into her chest so she’s got her knees up on her chest, and then you can put your hands on her shins, and so you’re really compressing her and folding her into this pretzel-like position, and then you can thrust from that position.

So as you can see, there are so many variations on the different ways that you can do the missionary position, and this is going to be one of the best ways to mix things up and always keep it exciting. You just really want to make sure that you’re in tune with your partner and you’re choosing positions that both of you are really enjoying.

12. Try The Cowboy Position

You can also try the cowboy position as well, which is where her legs will actually straighten out and go inside your legs, so your legs will be on the outside of hers while you’re on top of her.

This position isn’t the best for in out thrusting, but it’s really good for that grinding. You go into this cowboy position and then you rock your body back and forth, which is going to grind against her clitoris and can feel really good.

All of these different positions are really great.

13. Encourage Your Partner To Grind

One of the things that I’ve found tends to make missionary sex better for both of us is that if the woman that I’m with is also active in the grinding, so rather than her just lying there and receiving me, if she’s rocking back and forth, then things tend to feel a lot better and it feels a lot more intimate, it feels less like I’m just doing all the work.

So encourage your partner to rock and to grind, and she can even put her hands up against the edge of the bed and she can push off the edge of the bed in order to push into you.

14. Work Up To Hard Thrusting

And to make missionary as intense as it possibly can be, you might want to work up to hard, where you really are doing that hard thrusting in and out.

Now if you’re doing this, you can do this lying on top of your partner and thrusting in and out, but I find that the best way for me to thrust is to actually go back on my knees and to put my arms around the waist of my partner, or put them over her shoulders, or grab onto her legs, and then thrust her really hard that way.

And if you want to take your thrusting to the ultimate speed and go really intense with her, what I like to do is the monkey grip. So I will put my hands out and my partner will grab onto my arms, and then I’m getting them to tense their arms and pull on me, and what this allows me to do is to pull on her in order to thrust really hard.

So if you want to do the really hard fucking as hard as humanly possible in the missionary position, try the monkey grip, because then both of you can really engage and pull in as hard as possible.

15. Don’t Forget To Use Toys

While the thrusting feels great for us with penises, generally women need strong clit stimulation in order to cum. The grinding can be really good, but for many women it’s still not going to be enough.

However, if you get toys like vibrators or the clit toys that use air pulses to mimic sucking of their clit, then they can have some incredible orgasms while you’re in missionary position and while you’re having incredible intercourse.

So don’t shy away from toys. Use toys with your partner to help bring them to orgasm and help to give them multiple orgasms.

For more tips on how to have better sex, check out this video on how to take your doggy style sex to the next level and don’t forget to download that free oral orgasm tutorial so you can learn how to give your partner mind-blowing orgasms with your fingers and your mouth.