How To Do Cowgirl Sex WAY Better (& Make Her Cum)

Cowgirl position is one of my favorite sex positions and it can also be one of her favorite sex positions and a position where many women can orgasm if you do it properly.

In this article, I want to show you how to do cowgirl position better so it feels better for both of you and so she can have some mind-blowing orgasms.

Hey, I’m Phoenix Blake, sex coach and educator, and I’m passionate about helping you become the best lover you can be, and one of the best ways you can do that is in the cowgirl position because it gives her a lot of control and it also allows you to stimulate her clitoris and bring her to orgasm.

1. Grinding, Grinding, Grinding

If you learn anything from this article, it is to incorporate grinding into this position.

Often as guys, we are so focused on the in-out penetration, and we do this even during cowgirl position, that we forget that one of the best things about this position is that our partner can grind up against us.

So what we want to do is actually use our pubic bone or the bottom of our stomach and rub it against her clitoris. So if we’re lying down, she’s going to be sitting on top of us and her clitoris is going to rub on our pubic bone.

So what you can do is you can actually take some spit and you can rub it on your pubic bone or directly on her clitoris, because a clitoris doesn’t like being touched dry and it feels so much better when things are wet down there.

So if you’re lying back and she’s on top of you, just get some spit, rub it on you, and trust me, she’s going to thank you for it.

To improve the grinding and make it feel better for her, there’s a couple of different things that you can do. One is to actually arch your back so that your pubic bone pushes up a bit more. So if you arch your back, it can raise that up and press into her clitoris.

The other thing that you can do is lift up your hips completely. So if you raise yourself up completely so that your bum is off the bed, then she’s going to have her full weight pressing down on you and the full weight of her body on her clitoris, which is going to make that stimulation more intense.

What you can also do to improve the grinding is to get some control yourself by holding onto her hips, by putting a hand on her stomach or maybe one on her back, and you can assist her in rocking back and forth with your hands, or on her hips, you can rock her back and forth.

You can simply lie back and let her do the rocking, and often many women can orgasm from this because they can do it the way that they like, but some women need a bit more intensity in order to orgasm, and so by assisting them and then eventually you can actually rock them hard back and forth, you can bring them to orgasm.

You just need to be really careful when you’re doing this, especially if you’re more well endowed, because your penis is going to be quite deep inside her and if you do this too vigorously, you can actually hurt her. So always communicate with your partner and make sure everything’s feeling good for her.

2. Adjust Your Legs

You can have your legs fully straight out, which will kind of allow her to get a bit deeper, push her clit against your pelvis a bit more, or you can spread your legs out a bit as well, which can sometimes support her bum and raise her up a bit, which allows for a bit more thrusting or grinding with a bit less pressure, or if your legs are to the side, then that allows you to do the arching of your back to push up into her clitoris.

There’s no one right way to have your legs during the cowgirl position, but just explore different things and find out what feels good for you and what feels good for her as well.

3. Thrust In Rhythm With Her

Rather than just lying back and not doing anything and letting her do all the work, get involved as well. Even if you’re doing little thrusts, it can feel more intense for her. It can feel better for her.

And it also creates that intimacy where you’re both engaged in the sex together and you’re both participating to make it feel good.

Don’t just lie there like a dead dog. Make sure you get involved and you can do smaller thrusts, you can do larger thrusts, you can do slow thrusts, or you can do fast thrusts.

I tend to try to match my rhythm to her and the grinding that she’s doing, as this way we’re in sync.

4. Control Her Height

This is a massive tip for if you’re doing cowgirl position and she’s going up and down on you.

Unfortunately, women aren’t very aware of how deep or shallow they are going. And in many cases, they’re going to come out too far. And then they’re going to come back down on you and bend your penis. It’s going to come forward or go too far back, and it’s just going to hurt and not feel very good.

Now, because she’s not going to be super aware of her depth, you need to control her and make sure she doesn’t go too high. You can break your penis in this position and hurt yourself, and it’s not worth it.

So the best way to control her height is to simply hold her hips. And if she goes too high, simply activate your arms to hold her down. So you still allow that up down, but just don’t let her go too high where your penis is likely to come out.

And you may actually want to communicate to your partner: “Hey, you’re just going a bit too high. I’m going to come out of you. Can you just do slightly smaller thrusts?”

5. Mix Up Her Positions

Many people think of cowgirl position as just one position, but actually it can feel extremely different based on her position and how far forward or how far backwards she is.

If she’s fully sitting up, then you’re going to go deeper inside her. This can feel really good, but depending on your penis size, you may actually go too deep in this position.

She can then partially lean forward a little bit and she might want to put her hands on your chest or on the bed. I find that this position works for most women with me and it’s really great because it allows some thrusting inside her, but it’s also a great position for her to grind and to achieve an orgasm that way.

Alternatively, she can fully lie down on you as well and you can engage in intercourse in that position.

Another thing that you can do is get her to lean back and put her hands either on the bed and the side of the bed, or she can put her hands on your legs directly and lean back. What this is going to do is cause you to go deeper inside her.

It’s going to cause you to be more likely to hit her G-spot with your penis, which can be more intense. And it’s also going to open up her clitoris so it’s not pushing against you as much, but rather it’s raised up and this can allow you to touch her clitoris.

You can put some spit on your thumb and you can get in there and you can touch her clitoris in this position.

6. Mix Up Your Positions

So you can do the position where you are fully lying back. That’s going to be the most common cowgirl position. That’s fine. It feels really good. Use that position.

But what you can also do as well is actually partially sit up. So go from lying down and then just partially sit up, supporting your weight with your arms.

This is going to feel different to lying down for both of you, which can be a really nice change. It can put more pressure on your pubic bone and her clitoris touching so the grinding can be better, but it can also limit the grinding a little bit as well.

So if she’s getting really intense and wants to go back and forth really hard, this position’s not necessarily the best, but also you’re getting closer to her, which allows you to kiss her. It’s a little bit more intimate and really, just mixing up the positions makes everything so much more exciting.

So mix up her positions, mix up your positions, and what you can do as well is go from this kind of sitting back position to a fully sitting up position where you can actually hold on to her and support her. And then you can rock back and forth with each other and grind in this position.

Or a really fun position is that you can both lean back and then you can grind backwards and forwards, which can feel really enjoyable.

And something that’s a bit of fun as well, if you want to really mix it up, is you both actually fully lie down. Make sure you’re already fully inside her, but what you can do is lie her down first and then you can actually work your way back and lie back as well. Or if you’re already lying back, then she can lie back.

So you’re both lying back and then you can kind of grind in this position. It’s going to push down on your penis quite a lot. It’s not the most pleasurable position for you and generally it’s not the most pleasurable position for her either.

It’s not going to bring her to orgasm, but it does feel really nice. And it’s something that’s exciting that mixes things up that you don’t usually do.

And I often say that sex is so much about the overall experience of the sex. It’s not just about achieving orgasm and that’s it.

But if you’ve been in all of these different positions, she’s going to come out of that experience (and honestly, so are you) thinking, “Oh my God, that was such a good session. We did so many different things.”

Mix up these positions throughout because they each have different feelings. They each have different intensities. And so you can change the intensity simply by changing the position.

7. Play With Her Clit

We’ve talked so much about grinding and that’s a big way that her clit is going to get stimulated, but you can also stimulate her clit as well with your thumb, or you can kind of bend your arm around and you can stimulate it with your fingers as well.

If you’re going to stimulate her clit, make sure that you apply spit to your thumb or your fingers or use lubricant.

And I tend to find that in the cowgirl position, I’m not going to be doing a lot of stimulation with my fingers. She’s going to be doing the bulk of it. And sometimes using your fingers is too much and she’ll prefer to just grind on you anyway.

But what I’ll do is I’ll put my finger down there and sometimes I’ll just leave it still and she can actually grind up against it. Or maybe I’ll just do little movements with my fingers.

But in this position, I’m always checking in with her, finding out what she likes. Maybe I’m saying, “Tell me if this is too much,” or, “Do you like that?” Or, “Do you prefer it just grinding against me?”

Give her the option so she can communicate with you, because fingers can sometimes be really good in the cowgirl position. And sometimes they can not be very good and they’re actually hurting you more than they’re helping you.

Pleasuring her clitoris is one of the best ways to give her an orgasm. And if you want to learn the technique that I’ve found has been the most consistent way to bring women to orgasm regularly, then I’ve got a free oral orgasm tutorial where I share with you exactly how you can bring women to orgasm.

That will also sign you up for my newsletter where I share loads of tips on how you can be a better lover and give more pleasure to your partner, and many of those tips I don’t share on YouTube.

8. Use Toys

Yes, she’s going to love grinding her clitoris against you, but some women need a little bit more than that. And so by using toys on her clit, she can be more likely to have an orgasm.

This is going to be one of the positions where something like a clit wand is going to be a bit difficult to use because she’s so pressed against you. You can make it work, but they’re not the best.

What’s better is those little bullet vibrators, because you can just slide it underneath her clit and she can pleasure herself that way while continuing to grind on you. It just adds that extra intensity and allows her to have those orgasms.

9. Touch And Enjoy Her Body

One of the best things about being in cowgirl position is that you can see everything.

Often when you’re in missionary position, your faces are very close and you can’t see much, or if you’re in doggy style, yes, you can see her bum, but then you’re just looking at her back.

In cowgirl position, you can see everything and you can touch everything because you’re not supporting your weight with your hand. Take full advantage of this.

Touch her body, caress her breasts and her stomach, touch her neck and the back of her hair, pull her in to kiss you and then push her back up so you can touch her again, and let her know how fucking sexy she looks.

Many women can get insecure in the cowgirl position because they are on show. So as you’re touching her and enjoying her, let her know how much it’s turning you on.

“Oh my God, you look so sexy. I absolutely love you there. I love touching you. This is turning me on so much. Your breasts look incredible,” or, “I really love your stomach.”

There’s so many different things that you can do which is going to help her overcome her insecurities, help her relax, and that’s going to help her to enjoy it more as well.

10. Thrust Into Her After She Cums

Now, I always like to save my best tips for last to reward those of you who read all the way through, and this tip is one of my favorite things to do in cowgirl position, especially after she’s had an orgasm and I haven’t orgasmed yet.

So what I’m going to do is in this position, imagine that I’m lying down. She’s on top of me. She’s just had an orgasm so she’ll now lean forward onto me and I can hold on to her and cuddle her, but if she’s up on her knees, what I can do is I can actually thrust into her from this position.

So for her to orgasm, generally she likes the clit grinding against your stomach, but for you to orgasm, you’re going to want the in and out.

So what you can do is you can then thrust into her and if you hold on to her and stop her from moving, then you can actually thrust into her pretty vigorously, and if she’s one of those women who love being pleasured after their orgasm because everything’s more intense, it’s going to be super intense for her, but it’s also one of the easiest positions for you to orgasm as well, and if I want to thrust really fast in this position, what I’ll do is I’ll actually bring my feet together so my legs will be splayed out, and that will allow me to create momentum with my legs to thrust hard into her.

Now you know how to make cowgirl position even better, go ahead and check out this video to learn how to make the doggy style position even better so you can be the best she’s ever had, and don’t forget to download my free tutorial where I show you the most consistent way to bring her to orgasm and even give her multiple orgasms.