Why She Can’t Squirt Yet (4 Easy Fixes)

If you’re trying to make your partner squirt and you’ve learnt the basic techniques and it just isn’t happening, sometimes there’s things that you’re doing wrong that you need to fix in order to be able to bring them to that squirting and ejaculatory orgasm.

Hey, I’m Phoenix Blake, sex coach and educator, and I’ve successfully been able to make about 80 to 90 percent of the women that I’ve tried to make squirt actually squirt. So my success rate isn’t 100 percent, but it’s pretty high, and I want to teach you some of the missteps and things that people do wrong that stops their partner from squirting.

1. Work On Your Technique

Squirting technique is very intense and very brute force, for lack of a better word, but it’s also very nuanced in the way that it works, and with different partners you might need slightly different techniques.

Subtle changes like the fingers you use can make a big difference. Maybe it’s your pointer and middle finger; I actually prefer the middle finger and ring finger.

Also the direction that your fingers on the outside are pointing: if they’re pointing up, this is going to give more detailed pressure to the G-spot but tends to be less good for squirting. So you tend to want those fingers on the outside to be pointing down towards their bum so that you can get more up and down and flat stimulation.

Also little adjustments in the way you move your fingers, in the way your wrist is positioned, the way your elbow’s positioned, whether it’s up or down, and how much you’re using your shoulder and your arm all play a major role in whether she’s able to squirt or not.

So as you can see, there’s lots of little things that go into the technique of squirting, which is why I’ve created a full course to show you the exact techniques that I use, learnt over many years of experience and lots of practice, that are able to make most women squirt.

Go to passionately.com/squirt to get access to that detailed training, where I talk not only about the techniques and the finger techniques that you need to use but body positioning, mindset, timing, arousal, everything that goes into successfully setting up your partner to be able to squirt.

2. Body Positioning

What most guys will do when they try to make a woman squirt is she’ll just be lying on her back with her legs to the side, and this can be fine. A lot of women can squirt from this position.

However, what you’ll find when they’re lying down is that their pelvis is actually tilted quite forward, which can make it difficult for you to get your fingers in deep enough and to be able to give enough vigorous stimulation to the right spot to be able to make her squirt.

So something as simple as grabbing a pillow and putting that underneath her bum to raise up her pelvis can allow you to get in deeper and allow you to stimulate her better. You can even fold the pillow in half if you need some extra height, or you can throw her leg over your shoulder as well.

There’s also a couple of other positions that women can squirt from, which I share inside my course, but that pillow trick should help you.

3. Right Technique At The Wrong Time

When I first learned how to make my partner squirt, I was so excited I told all of my mates about it, and one of my mates was so excited to go back and try it at home with his partner.

Now I warned him ahead of time. I’m like, “Don’t go in there straight away without any warm up and just try and do it to her. She’s not going to like it and she’s not going to be able to squirt.”

And what does he do? He goes in during foreplay, they didn’t even have much warm up, and straight away he’s just doing the technique trying to make her squirt.

Not only was she not able to squirt, but she was also shocked and she’s like, “What the hell are you doing? We don’t usually do this.”

This guy was making the big mistake of doing the right technique at the wrong time.

Often we can get so fixated on technique and body position, and we want to try out the new technique that we’ve learned, that we’re not in tune with our partner and where they’re at. We just go in there in the beginning. We want to do it straight away because we’ve heard that this is going to give them pleasure, it’s going to bring them to a squirting orgasm, but if you do the right technique at the wrong time, it’s not going to work.

The reason for this is that you actually need your partner to be fully aroused for there to be a lot of blood flow in the area, which takes time to build up, and you need to build up the liquid in the area so they actually have something to squirt as well.

So if you go in there straight away in the beginning, not only will they not be able to squirt, but if they’re not aroused enough then it can actually hurt them because the technique is so vigorous.

So instead of trying to make your partner squirt in every single session and trying to do it straight away, what I suggest is waiting till they’re at what I call peak arousal.

When you’re with them and you’re doing foreplay or you’re having sex and they’re building up, building up, building up, and right before their orgasm when you can sense that their whole body is surrendered and in release, this can be a great time to try to make them squirt.

It can also be a good idea to talk to your partner ahead of time so they’re not shocked like what happened with my friend’s partner, or if you’re deciding not to talk to them, then build up slowly.

So use the techniques that I teach you and start slow and then build it up over time, so it doesn’t feel like you’re just shocking them with this really intense technique but you’re actually introducing the technique slowly, where it feels really good for them, and then you’re naturally just amping it up, amping it up till they’re at their intense peak arousal, and then you go really hard to try to make them squirt.

4. Help Her Get Out Of Her Head

A lot of women get stuck in their head during sex. They might be worried about how they look or how they smell or how they taste, and when it comes to squirting they can also be concerned about the fact that they might wet the bed, because often when you’re using the squirting techniques on them it can feel like they’re about to wee.

So it’s your role as the giver not to just give them physical pleasure with the techniques that you use with your finger and your mouth and your penis, but to also pay attention to their mind and their mentality as well.

Honestly, the mind plays such a huge role in whether or not she’s able to reach orgasm and whether or not she’s able to squirt, and so if she’s in her mind, she’s probably not going to reach orgasm, she’s probably not going to be able to squirt.

There’s lots of different things that you can do to help get her out of her mind. Connecting with her intensely to make it about this intimate moment between the two of you can really help. Giving her a massage beforehand to help relax her can help. Or something like talking dirty to her in the moment can help her to focus on your words and what you’re saying rather than what’s in her head.

And when it comes to the squirting moment, try encouraging her to relax and to let it out, letting her know how sexy she is, how much she turns you on, how much you love it when she moans and makes noises or orgasms, or how you love it when she squirts if she’s squirted before.

You can also just tell her in the moment to just relax and to just enjoy it, to let go, that you’ve got her, that she is amazing. There’s so many different things that you can do to help her get out of her mind in the moment so that she can successfully squirt.

And whether she does squirt or she doesn’t squirt, I often like to encourage her afterwards to say, “Oh my god, that was so hot, you are so sexy,” and if she has squirted to say, “Fuck, I love it when you squirt. That was the hottest thing in the world. I absolutely love it.”

Or you could even go to a more extreme measure and you can smell her squirt or you can lick it and taste it. And while some women may be slightly grossed out by this, a lot of women as well will say, “Oh, he actually really loves this. He’s really turned on by this,” and then next time she’s going to be more relaxed.

And if you want to learn the nitty gritty details about exactly what I do to make my partner squirt, then go to passionately.com/squirt and sign up for my squirting course today. It’s everything I know about squirting technique, to really help bring her to that squirting orgasm.