How To Do Butt Stuff: The Ultimate Guide

So you want to explore some butt stuff? Well, look no further, because this is my ultimate guide to butt stuff, to butt play, to rimming, to fingering, to anal.

Before we begin, let’s just talk about why butt stuff. Why do people want to do this? Why do you want to do it? Why does it feel so good?

There’s a lot of nerve endings in and around the anus and butt stuff can feel so good because when this area is pleasured, all of those nerves send signals to our brain that we can interpret as pleasure.

Some people also like butt stuff because it’s more arousing, it feels a little bit more taboo or a little bit kinky and butt stuff can also be pleasurable because it can be a shift in the power dynamics of the sexual relationship.

When a woman does butt stuff to a man by either fingering him or pegging him or even rimming him, she can be in control and she can be more dominant.

And I will address the elephant in the room for some of the straight men out there. No, liking butt stuff does not make you gay. It doesn’t say anything about your sexuality at all or who you’re attracted to.

If you like butt stuff, it’s just because that area is extremely pleasurable.

Talk To Your Partner Ahead Of Time

If you want to get into butt stuff with your partner, it’s a really good idea to talk to them ahead of time and let them know that this is something that you’re interested in trying.

Whenever I have a new partner and we talk about things that we’re into or our sexual desires, then I’ll let my partners know that I really like butt stuff. I like licking, I like fingering, I like anal, and I’ll also let them know that I like receiving as well.

That way, they know they have permission to play with my bum, if that’s something that they want to do.

And when I express this, it’s not something that I’m ashamed of and I don’t go into it with nervousness like, “Oh yeah, like, I’m into butt stuff.” It’s like, “No, I’m into butt stuff. I like this.”

And I feel like for a lot of people, that confidence is contagious. If you go into it not being ashamed, if you go into it being confident, then they’re more likely to be open to doing it.

I’ve had many partners who had never done butt stuff with anyone ever, but because I was confident in it, because I was open about it, we were able to explore that together, which was really fun for them. Obviously, really fun for both of us. And for some of them, it became their favorite thing to do.

Cleanliness

Many people worry about cleanliness when it comes to butt stuff and it’s understandable why. If you’re someone that needs everything to be exactly squeaky clean, then yeah, maybe butt stuff isn’t for you.

But for many people, you can simply have a shower before you do any butt stuff to clean out the area. Or if you want to go a step further, you can actually douche your bum in order to clear out the lower colon, so there’s less chance of things getting messy.

But to be honest with you, if you’re going to be doing butt stuff, at some point in time you’re probably going to have some experience where you get a bit of poo on you.

My best suggestion for this is to actually have baby wipes next to the bed. Scented baby wipes tend to be best to cover up the smell, but if you do get any on you, then you can just grab a baby wipe, you can wipe it off your finger, and then you can also use the baby wipe to wipe your partner, or they can wipe themselves if they want.

Really, I think it’s not a big deal and the risk is worth the reward. And if it happens, you just clean it up, no issues.

And then you’ve got other people out there as well, where cleanliness is not the biggest concern, and that’s fine as well. If you don’t need your partner to have a shower before you do butt stuff, and it just happens spur of the moment, then more power to you.

Let’s look at the different ways that you can get started doing butt stuff with your partner.

1. Light Finger Touching

One of the first things that you can do is light finger touching on the outside of their anus.

What we’re doing with our finger is we’re just going lightly around the anus.

We might even touch on and over the anus, but we’re not trying to go inside at this point. We’re just touching softly around it, which feels really good.

You don’t really want to go hard around it if you’ve got dry fingers, because that kind of grabs the skin and doesn’t feel really good. So this is a soft sort of touch.

You can do this touch while you’re giving your partner some sort of other pleasure. You might be fingering them, you might be going down on them, you could be giving him a blowjob, or you could even be having intercourse and you can reach around and you can do some of this light touch on that anus while you’re having intercourse.

This works both for men and for women, whatever your gender is.

2. Wet Finger Touching

To do this, just go ahead and spit on your fingers or get lubricant and put it on your fingers. And then you can go ahead and you can do the same sort of thing, rubbing around the anus, going over the anus, even putting the pad of your finger in.

We’re not sticking our whole finger in, just kind of pushing the pad in a little bit.

That can be very pleasurable if your fingers are wet. And I personally find the sensation of wet fingers a lot better than the sensation of dry fingers.

3. Finger Up To The Nail

The next thing that you can do to start to explore fingering your partner is that you can finger them, but just about up to the nail.

What you’re going to do again is make everything wet and lubricated.

If you push in just up to the nail, what you’ll notice is that it doesn’t seem to push past the sphincter where they’re going to get that reaction where they clench up and they squeeze their sphincter and it feels a bit uncomfortable.

If you go just to the nail, then you can go in and out a little bit doing slow strokes, or you can hold it in and you can move your finger back and forth a little bit, or you can move your fingers in circles.

Now, if you’ve got long nails, it’s really important that you lead with your nail first, so the nail points down and the soft pad faces up. If you’ve got short nails like me, you can go with the pad of your finger and then slide in.

For a full guide on exactly how to finger the bum, go ahead and read this article.

4. Fully Finger Your Partner

Then if you want to fully finger your partner, you can do that as well.

Again, I advise make everything wet, make the entirety of your finger wet, wet all around the anus, spit or lubricant. Use a lot of it and then you can slide inside your partner.

Generally, you want your finger pointing up towards their stomach. You can go the other way around, but this tends to feel a bit more uncomfortable. You can go deeper the other way around, but it tends to be more for experienced people.

If you’re sliding in and you started with lubricant, but it’s feeling a bit sticky and you can’t get it in, then come all the way out, re-lubricate, and then go back in.

It shouldn’t be hard to get in. You don’t want that skin grabbing because it doesn’t feel very good.

Then when you’re inside your partner, you can do a few different things. You can do what I call micro thrusts, where you’re just going in and out a tiny bit.

It’s almost like the sphincter has grabbed onto the side of your finger, and so you’re not moving your finger past the sphincter. It’s staying in place and your finger is just going in and out.

When you’re inside your partner, you can also do the come-here motion and you can move your finger around inside them, which can feel really good.

Just be careful you’re not scratching them with your nails. So ladies, if you’re fingering with long nails, you want to make sure you’re not digging up with your nail. Make sure you’re using the pad of your finger to push against the anal walls and go gentle.

Just like when fingering a vagina, you want to go slower than you think you need to go.

A big mistake that many people make is they go too fast, too quickly, and this doesn’t feel good. Yes, sometimes full thrusting with your fingers can feel good, but more often than not, it’s going to be slow pleasure, or you do a slow in and out as they’re pleasuring their genitals at the same time.

5. Add Fingers

If you want to step it up, you can add fingers. Going from one finger to two fingers can feel really good for some people, but you only want to do this if they’re really ready for it.

When you’re going to use two fingers, you don’t want to have your fingers side by side, but rather what I like to do is tuck one finger under the other.

So when I’m going inside, I’m leading with the longer finger that’s going in, then the other finger is going in. And then once you’re inside, your fingers can come apart and you can stimulate them inside.

If you’re going up to three fingers, this is where you’re really entering risky territory where you might actually tear the anus. So you need to be really careful.

Again, you want to lock all those fingers together. You’re going to go ahead and go in. You want to be extra careful around the knuckles as that’s where things are going to really stretch for your partner.

So if you’re going to do this, take your time, lots of lube, go very slowly, have really good communication with your partner so you don’t hurt them.

6. Use Your Tongue

Using your tongue is another great way to do butt stuff and can feel incredibly good.

The anus doesn’t tend to be as particular as the vulva when it comes to the techniques that you use. Generally, you just want to have a flat tongue and you can lick up and over the hole. You can do a point to your tongue and do circles around the anus. Or obviously, you can also poke your tongue inside the anus, which can feel really good.

And if you want to take things to the next level, you can also use your fingers and put your fingers on either side of the anus and stick your tongue in the middle. Then you can kind of massage with your fingers whilst licking at the same time, or you can be fingering your partner and then you can lick around it as well.

For more tips on how to give an incredible rim job, go ahead and check out my article on rimming.

7. Pleasure Their Genitals At The Same Time

It’s a really good idea when doing butt stuff to also be pleasuring your partner’s genitals at the same time.

For some people, butt stuff can feel really intense. But for most people, butt stuff is supplementary to genital stimulation. So it makes the genital stimulation even better.

This means you can be doing butt stuff while you’re giving your partner oral sex. You can be doing butt stuff while you’re playing with your partner, masturbating their penis or fingering your partner’s vulva or playing with their clitoris. Or you could be doing butt stuff while using toys, which can be really pleasurable and give women some incredible mind-blowing orgasms.

8. Do Butt Stuff During Sex

And you can also do a bit of butt stuff during sex as well.

In the missionary position, women can reach around and play with a guy’s butt during intercourse. It does tend to be difficult for most women to reach, but it is possible.

But what’s a lot more feasible is that if you’re having sex with a woman, you can play with her bum at the same time.

Doggy style position can be a great position for this because her ass is just there. So you can wet your thumb and you can use your thumb to put it inside her ass. Or you can twist your wrist and you can actually get your finger inside her bum and pleasure that.

Also, if you’re doing something like cowgirl position where she’s on top of you, generally as guys, we have the longer arms. So it’s easy to reach around and to play with her bum in this position.

If you go around from the top, you can come down to her bum, or you can actually come from underneath and you can play with it from that direction. And your partner can even grab their cheeks and they can pull their cheeks apart to make it easier for you to reach around.

9. Get Toys Specifically For Butt Stuff

You can also get toys specifically for butt stuff. You can get prostate massagers and vibrators for guys. You can get butt plugs. You can get other anal vibrators.

You can even get a toy called the Njoy.

And this can go inside your bum and this can be a really great way to pleasure a man’s prostate. And because it’s made of metal, it slides really well as well, which can give some great pleasure.

You’ve also got things like anal beads and you’ve got things like dildos as well. There’s so many different options out there when it comes to butt toys. Get out there and explore them.

And if you want to see the best toys that I recommend, go to passionately.com/toys. That will redirect you to my website where I’ve got a page where I talk about all of my favorite toys.

10. Anal Sex And Pegging

And then last but not least, there’s obviously anal sex and pegging, which can be some of the most fun butt stuff you can do.

If you do anal properly, it can lead to some of the best orgasms of people’s lives. I’m so jealous of some of the orgasms women have had through anal, but if you do it wrong, it can be incredibly painful.

Anal is a very detailed topic. That’s why I’ve done a full article on how you can have pain-free anal sex and make sure that the anal sex feels really good.

Alternatively, go ahead and go to my website at passionately.com where you can learn how to become the best lover possible. I’ve got a whole bunch of free resources over there, stuff I don’t share on YouTube, and I’ve got some paid courses as well that can help you become an expert in the bedroom.