Fisting Made Easy: Fisting 101

Fisting can be an extremely sexy thing to do with your partner. It can feel really good for them, lead to some incredible orgasms, and also make them feel really proud of themselves, and can be an incredibly intimate moment for both of you.

But obviously you have to do this right, otherwise it can lead to issues such as pain, or tearing the vagina walls, or the anus if you’re fisting in the bum.

So how exactly do you fist? How do you do it safely? And how do you do it in a way that’s going to feel really good for your partner?

In order to fist your partner, you’re going to need patience, you’re going to need a fuck ton of lube, and you’re going to need the right technique as well.

Make Sure Both Of You Are Clean

If you’re the person giving the fisting, then make sure that your hands and your arm are clean, because we don’t want to infect our partner.

And if you’re the person receiving the fist, you might want to clean yourself out as well, especially if you’re getting a fist up the anus.

A Very Relaxed Position

In order for fisting to be successful, the person needs to be completely relaxed, so they’re not tightening their muscles, things aren’t getting tense, and it’s probably going to take a decent amount of time in order to fist our partner.

So if they’re in an uncomfortable position, they’re going to have to hold that for a long period of time. That’s not going to be good.

Make sure they’re comfortable. The most common positions are going to be them simply lying on their back with their legs spread, or they could be in the doggy style position as well.

This can be quite a relaxing and sexy position, but it also allows the receiver to move a bit more and have a bit more control. So they can back up onto your hand if they’re ready to take more of it, or they can move away from it, and some people prefer that level of control.

Just work out with your partner what feels best for them. You can always shift positions and try different positions.

Get Your Partner Fully Aroused

I’m going to talk mainly about fisting a vagina here, but it’s a very similar technique for fisting the anus, but when you’re fisting a vagina, you want your partner to be really wet, really turned on and have a lot of blood flow in the area.

So it can be a great idea to give your partner an orgasm first before you begin fisting them, or if you don’t give them an orgasm, at least warm them up with fingering, with oral sex, and just get them really aroused, really turned on.

And this is going to help with the wetness to allow you to slide in, but it’s also going to help them feel more relaxed, and everything’s going to feel better when there’s more blood flow in the area.

Just like with squirting, you can go really vigorous when your partner’s really turned on, but if you do that same technique when they’re not turned on, it’s going to feel uncomfortable and you could actually hurt them. So the same is true for fisting.

Use A Lot Of Lube

Yes, some people can take a fist just with their wetness alone, or you can actually use your own spit for lubricant in some circumstances, but in most cases, it’s going to be best to use lubricant.

The more lubricant, the better. Don’t skimp on lubricant in these circumstances, and you can actually use lubricant, obviously, on your fist, but you can actually put some lubricant around your partner’s vulva, and even push some lubricant inside their vagina, and that’s going to help everything once you’re in, that’s going to help you get out as well.

You can get lubes like Elbow Grease specifically for fisting, but most lubes will work. You just might need to top up along the way. So don’t just lube up once, continually lube up as you get more and more fingers inside your partner.

You can also use something like a latex glove if you want, because that’s going to make things more slippery, can feel really good for your partner, and can reduce the risk of infection.

What’s The Actual Technique?

Well, it’s really important that we actually start slow and we work up to a fist. So we’re not going in and we’re not fisting and punching them straight away.

Start With Just One Finger

So your middle finger or your pointer finger, start with just one and place it inside them. Begin to stimulate their G-spot, or if it’s in their anus, begin to stimulate them in a way that they enjoy.

Get them relaxed, get them aroused and enjoying that one finger and then you can bring it out and you can use two fingers.

Remember, whenever we are adding fingers, we also want to add lubricant. So that might be spitting on our hands and rubbing it around our fingers or simply getting lubricant and adding it on.

Two Fingers

So when we go up to two fingers, I find it really useful to tuck these fingers. So the nail from your pointer finger is hidden under your middle finger and then you can slide in with two fingers and once you’re inside, you can spread those fingers apart.

Again, begin to stimulate your partner and begin to pleasure them.

Now, most people are going to be able to take two fingers just fine.

Three Fingers

As you get up to three fingers, this is where we enter into more dangerous territory. You’re stretching them so much that if you rush it, you can actually tear them. So take your time. Patience here is key.

After two fingers, we’re going to apply three fingers. Again, more lubricant to the outside of these fingers, especially the new finger that hasn’t been inside your partner yet.

With the three fingers, you want to pull them together like we did with two fingers and you’re going to go inside your partner.

Now, you’re going to notice that once you reach your knuckles, this is going to be one of the biggest spots where you can tear your partner. So you really want to take time here.

So getting your three fingers in, you can go up to the knuckles and then give your partner some time in this position. You can stimulate them in this position. You can go in and out, but you really want them to be relaxed before you actually go ahead and push past those knuckles because then it’s starting to get quite thick.

So when they’re here, take your time. You can also rotate your hand a little bit to help you slide in.

And then once you’ve got three fingers in, don’t go straight away really hard and really fast. Our partner is relaxing into this and stretching into this. So take your time and be patient.

With three fingers inside them, you can begin to pleasure them doing the come-here motion with three fingers.

And then you can also begin to shift and move in and out of them with three fingers and begin to build that up.

Four Fingers

Now, once they’re built up and they’re feeling pretty comfortable with three fingers, we’re going to move up to four fingers.

Again, we’re pulling our fingers together. We’re not putting our fingers in fully straight. That’s going to cause issues. It’s going to jab. It’s not going to feel good.

So move all of your fingers together and slide your fingers in. Again, this is going to get really tight around the knuckles. So you’re not going to want to rush this. Same with the three fingers as you go in and take your time.

Now, with a lot of people, up until the knuckles, not past the knuckles, is all they’re going to be able to handle if they’ve never done fisting before. This is a much bigger stretch than most people are used to. So don’t expect to always get past this point, especially if it’s the first time that they’re doing it.

But even here, you can give your partner a lot of pleasure by pushing in almost to the knuckles but not past the knuckles and you can please them like that in and out. Really taking your time, allowing them to stretch, checking in with your partner, seeing how they’re feeling, seeing if it’s feeling good.

And even just this alone is incredibly sexy and the most that most people have ever taken.

While you’re doing this as well, also pay attention to the clitoris, because this is so stimulating. This stretching feeling and stimulating the roof of her vagina can feel really good, and you can then go down there with your mouth and stimulate their clit while you’re doing this, and a lot of people can have incredible orgasms without getting the fist all the way in.

And if you need some tips and advice on exactly how to pleasure the clit to give your partner some incredible orgasms, then I’ve got a free oral orgasm tutorial.

In that video, I give you in-depth tips and techniques on how to give your partner some of the best orgasms of their life and it also gives you access to my newsletter where I share a lot of tips about how to give more pleasure to your partner, many of which I don’t share on YouTube.

If They’re Up For More

If you feel like they are up for more, then what you can begin to do now is to get your thumb and put it in the middle of your fingers and then begin to slide your thumb in and then you can go ahead and slide your knuckles in.

Now what’s going to happen is when you get to your outer knuckles, this is where you’re going to really start to feel some stretch and the hardest part is actually getting past these knuckles. So what you want to do is really take your time with this.

Again, we can go in and we can go out allowing our partner to really enjoy this and stretch into it.

We can also move our thumb up and down to add a bit of stretch by pushing our thumb in. And then in order to get these knuckles in, again, lots of lube on this position, taking a lot of time with our partner, you can actually begin to rotate this hand in order to slowly slide it in.

So you’re not just going in straight, because often things are going to grab. It’s not going to feel that great, but you can actually begin to rotate your hand and slide it in.

Now even before you’re all the way inside your partner, you can start to stimulate them with your fingers and you may find that you actually need to tuck your fingers up a little bit in order to get all the way inside because you could potentially be poking their cervix.

So you may want to bring these fingers up a little bit so that you’re not poking anything as you go ahead and twist and slide in, and then you can move into a fist or you can keep your hand in the duckbill position, whatever is feeling good for your partner.

Once You’re Inside

Now once you’re inside and you’ve got the wrist in, you don’t want to be going really hard, really fast and punching them straight away. Take your time and communicate with your partner.

Remember this can do a lot of damage if it’s not done properly. You want to give your partner an incredible experience.

So throughout all of this, but especially as you’re going past these knuckles and once you’re first inside, communicate with your partner. Make sure things are feeling good, and then when you’re inside you can start to do little movements.

So little movements with your fingers, or if you do form a fist you can do little twisting movements or up and down movements with your wrist, or you can go in a little bit, out a little bit. Really take your time in the beginning and begin to work your way up to more vigorous stimulation.

Again, while you’re doing this, don’t forget to pay attention to the clitoris of your partner.

If your fist has gone all the way in, it’s going to be very overwhelming for them, hopefully in a really good way, and it’s going to allow them to have some incredible orgasms.

It’s both physically pleasurable for them to feel this fullness and the extent of the stimulation, but psychologically it can be extremely pleasurable as well to understand that you’ve got a whole fist inside you and your partner is inside you.

They’re going to likely be pretty peaking and close to orgasm, and so this can allow you to stimulate them internally, but when stimulating the clit as well you can really push them over the edge into some incredible orgasms.

Pulling Your Hand Out

After you’re done and you’re complete, don’t just pull all the way out, because you can still tear your partner and hurt your partner on the way out, so you want to pay as much attention to pulling your hand out as you did to putting your hand in.

So again, you could apply lubricant around whatever is left outside your partner and around their vaginal opening, and you want to come out slowly.

We’re not going to keep the fist as we come out, but as we come out, again, bring that hand into that pointed position, and we may need to rotate our hand in order to pull it out and to come out safely.

Don’t Forget About Aftercare

This is an incredibly vulnerable state that they’ve been in, and while it can feel amazing, they may have some pain afterwards, and you don’t want to cause psychological pain or trauma as well as any physical pain that they may have.

So make sure that after you’re finished you give your partner some incredible love and aftercare. Hold them tightly, communicate with them about how sexy that was and how sexy they are and how you absolutely loved experiencing that with them. Hold them, whatever they need.

And if throughout this experience your partner does experience any bleeding, then that is a good cue to completely stop, and yes, you will likely need to go and see a doctor or you may need to visit the emergency room.

If you’re experiencing bleeding, or if your partner is experiencing spotting or bleeding the day after you’ve done the fisting, then it’s a good idea that they go and check in with their doctor.

There have been people who have needed stitches after this when things haven’t gone well, so it’s not something that you should just leave to chance. Go ahead and get it checked out with your doctor if you’re having any issues.

Enjoy your fisting with your partner, and if you want to learn how to make your partner squirt, then go ahead and check out my squirting course to learn the exact technique.