7 Fingering Techniques That Drive Her Wild

If you know how to finger a woman properly, you can blow her mind and give her some incredible orgasms. But most guys don’t know the techniques that women love that can bring them to those heights of pleasure.

Hey, I’m Phoenix Blake, sex coach and educator, and through lots of research but also applying that into practical hands-on experience with women, I’ve learned some of the best fingering techniques that work on most women.

It’s really important to know that every woman is different, so while these techniques will be tools in your arsenal that you can try with your partner, ultimately it comes down to them and what they enjoy.

You will notice that one technique on this list is not there, and that is just the simple in-out thrusting that so many guys seem to do. This can be good in some rare circumstances when she’s really aroused and loving it, but in most circumstances this simple in and out doesn’t feel that great for most women.

Instead, I’m going to share with you better techniques that your partner is more likely to enjoy and it’s more likely to bring them to orgasm.

1. Teasing

Tease your partner and pay attention to the entirety of the vulva.

What most guys will do is they go straight in and they’re trying to finger straight away. But there are so many nerve endings all around the vulva that you want to pay attention to everything.

You’ve got the clitoris up the top, obviously, but also even in the outer lips of the vulva are a lot of nerve endings, and she absolutely loves to be touched.

So in the beginning, rather than going straight in for the jugular, spend some time teasing her. You can even touch her thighs and come up to her vulva, move away from it, don’t touch it and go back up her thighs, or you can begin to lightly caress the outside of her vulva on those outer lips and get her really aroused and really begging for you, because just like men, when women get aroused more blood flows into the area and it starts to feel better for them.

So if you do the exact same techniques when she’s not aroused versus when she is aroused, it’s going to feel very different for her.

By teasing her with some light touch around the outer lips or even on the inside, very light touch without going in her, this is going to feel great for her and get her ready for the other techniques.

2. The Slow In And Out

Around the vaginal opening women have a lot of nerve endings, so this area is one of the most sensitive spots for them.

Get your finger, whether it’s your pointer or your middle finger, and if she’s lying on her back, what you want to do is just slowly slide into her so her vaginal opening begins to open, and then you can come all the way out so that it closes.

But generally I still like to keep my finger there so I’m still touching it. And this in and out and expanding their vaginal opening can feel really good.

3. Slow Circles

Often we’re so excited to get all the way in and we focus on that, that we forget about this vaginal opening.

And simply by putting our finger in just a little bit, really you’re only going about halfway up to the first knuckle or maybe up to the first knuckle inside her, you can then do small circles around that vaginal opening in order to give her some amazing pleasure and again get her more and more aroused.

It’s going to feel really good for her and she’s going to love it.

This technique isn’t likely to bring her to orgasm, but this is not the point of fingering our partner. We’re not just trying to take them from zero all the way up to orgasm.

We’re just trying to give them a lot of good feelings, and we can take them through waves of pleasure with it sometimes being more intense, and then we can drop it back down, then we can bring it back up again and drop it back down until eventually we bring them to orgasm, or we don’t even need to bring them to orgasm.

So while you’re here, you can do circles with your finger or you can go up and down a little bit. We’re not being really aggressive here going up and down, but just gently with some light pressure going up and down, seeing how our partner likes it and seeing how she responds.

4. The Come Here Motion

Technique number four is the most commonly talked about, and that’s for good reason. I’m going to show you how to do this but also a variation on this that can feel really good for her.

The idea is you put your finger in up to about the second knuckle or maybe you go all the way in, and if we go inside her, what we’re doing is the come here motion on the roof of her vagina.

The reason that this feels so good is that the G-spot is located on the top wall of the vagina, so you’re able to stimulate this G-spot using your fingers.

Sometimes you can feel the G-spot by a wrinkled texture on the top of the vagina, and that can be different from a smoother texture further back in the vagina, but this isn’t always the case with every woman, so don’t worry about it too much. Just make sure you’re about two knuckles in, pulling up on the roof of her vagina.

And you can pull up on the spot a bit further in her vagina, or you’ll notice that as you go into many women’s vaginas it’s almost like there’s a bit of a wall there that then goes up, and so you can push on that closer section as well.

It will depend on your partner which spot they like, or they might like both spots.

A variation on this that I learned from Alexey Welsh is that rather than doing the come here motion and bending your finger, you can actually keep your finger straight.

And if you go inside her, you can do the up and down similar to what we talked about with the circles on her vaginal opening. But if you apply a pressure to the whole top wall of her vagina with your straight finger, you can then apply upwards pressure and a bit of downwards pressure to then stimulate the entire upper wall of her vagina.

And you can even add a little bit of a bend into your finger to stimulate the top more with the pad of your finger, or even that first knuckle as well. You can apply pressure in that spot depending on what your partner likes.

While I personally find the come here motion works for almost everyone, I’ve had mixed results with the straight finger. Sometimes it feels really good for women, sometimes not as much and they prefer the come here motion, but it’s something that you can try.

And if you do this come here motion in a specific way and combine it with some other stimulation, then you can give your partner some really quick orgasms.

If you want to learn these exact techniques to give your partner incredible orgasms, then I do have a free video tutorial. Over there you can learn one of the most consistent ways to give women incredible orgasms with your fingers and your mouth.

5. The Back And Forth

It’s similar to the come here motion.

So instead of going inside and actually moving our finger with the come here motion, we’re actually going to lock our finger into place and we’re going to do the come here motion with our arm instead. So we’re pulling in and out of her, but not coming all the way out.

So when we go inside her, we’re going to bend our finger a bit, and it will depend on your partner how much you want to bend it.

You can apply pressure with the very top of your finger and a pointed pressure, or you can kind of bend your finger a bit so it’s a more spread out pressure on the roof of her vagina.

And then what you’re going to do is pull your arm out and then go back in, arm out and go back in.

So you’ll notice that I’m not actually really moving my finger much at all, but rather I’m moving my arm in and out.

This can be great because it can be a bit similar to penetration in that you’re going in and out, but you’re also getting that roof of the vagina where the G-spot is heavily stimulated as well.

With this technique, as well as the come here motion, I suggest you start with one finger with almost everyone unless you know she can take more, but you can work your way up to two fingers, which can feel really good for them and allow you to apply more pressure.

So instead of doing this technique with just one finger, you can use two fingers, either the middle two or your pointer and middle finger.

You go in and you do the same technique but with two fingers, and because it’s wider, that can stimulate her vaginal opening more and it can also allow you to add more pressure to the roof of her vagina. And the same for the come here motion, you can use two fingers as well.

6. Don’t Forget The Clitoris

You notice that I haven’t yet mentioned the clitoris, but I haven’t forgotten about it, because this is one of the most important spots for you to pleasure when you’re fingering your partner.

Most women can’t orgasm from intercourse alone or from penetration alone, and that includes when you’re fingering them. They need some sort of clitoral stimulation.

So making sure that you stimulate the clit is going to be very important as well when you’re fingering them.

You can stimulate the clit with your thumb, or you can use your other hand in order to stimulate the clit as well, or you can even get her to touch herself if she wants. Or separate to actually having your fingers inside her, you can spend some time focusing on the clit.

You want to make sure that your fingers are wet, either with your own spit, lubricant or her wetness, because the clitoris doesn’t like to be touched dry.

And then you can come down from her stomach and you can pleasure the clitoris with your middle finger or with two fingers, and what you want to do is rub the clitoris.

Generally you’re going to start very slow and soft on the clitoris, and as she gets more and more aroused you can apply more pressure.

So rather than applying more speed in the beginning, because one of the biggest mistakes that guys make is they go in there really fast and they just want to pleasure the clitoris, it can get overstimulated very quickly.

So by having our fingers wet and by starting slow, we can begin to build up that arousal.

Then as she gets more aroused, what most guys will do is they’ll start going faster, but one of the better things that you can do is to actually increase the pressure.

So if you start slow but with very light pressure, you can then maintain that slow speed but you can push a bit harder with your finger, and increasing the pressure will increase the intensity for her.

And then as she gets extremely aroused, then you can start looking at playing with faster speeds and seeing if she likes that.

But make sure you don’t forget the clitoris, and honestly I find the best way to play with a clitoris is with your mouth, and that’s what I share in my free tutorial.

The clitoris is not to be underestimated and should always form a part of your fingering attention if she likes her clitoris being touched and it’s not too intense for her.

7. The Squirting Technique

So remember in the beginning where we just put a little bit of our finger in and we’re doing that up down motion? Well, this is kind of the motion that we want to do, but when our fingers are all the way inside her.

So if we have two fingers all the way inside her, and make sure that our fingers are not pointing up towards her stomach but instead our outside fingers are pointing down towards her bum, what we want to do while we’re inside her is lock our fingers in place, and we want to go up and down with our hands, using a lot of our arm strength here going up and down.

You can actually begin to warm her up for squirting by actually pulsing with your hands. So instead of doing the come here motion or even pulling out, we’re staying inside and we’re pulsing with our fingers.

And as we build her up, we shift from pulsing, which is going to burn out the muscles in our forearm really quickly, and we lock into place and we start going backwards and forwards, and then we can build it up and up and up, and this can help bring her to a squirting orgasm.

There is some subtle nuance to it, and it will depend on your partner how hard you need to go. Different positions can help with squirting as well.

And if this is something that you really want to explore with your partner, then I’ve got a full video course on exactly how to make your partner squirt.

Go ahead, try these techniques out on your partner.